I’ve taken to keeping a private journal listing things that I learn each day. I haven’t shared most of them, however, I thought today’s lessons were something worth sharing.
One thing about me that has always been true is that I am good with dates. I can tell you the date of my first broken heart, my first menstral cycle, and just about any significant event in my life. Positive or negative dates stick with me. This is great for the good stuff, but not so great for the scary negative stuff. Today was a negative anniversary of something traumatic that not only changed my life, but it also changed who I am and the way I view life, people, and situations. I carry it with me daily but the days leading up to this one have been worse than normal. Nightmares that I have long sense put to rest had begun to disrupt my sleep cycle. Night terrors that wake even the soundest sleeper. I can’t really begin to explain what I mean without getting into heavy details that I am not willing/ready to blog about publicly so I will just get to the point of what I learned today….
Today I learned that something awful happens to many people everyday but just because that date was terrible once doesn’t mean that it will be again. A big part of taking the step from victim to survivor is taking back my control and I will no longer allow the date on the calendar to control my happiness.
Today was a wonderful day. It was a lot of work, it was super busy and I could give a long list of complaints, but it was a happy day and I am grateful to have allowed myself to just be happy without much thought to what came before it.