Answering the echoes of “what’s wrong with her now”??
What’s wrong with me now? I am sad. I looked at the calendar today and realized I should be entering my final month of pregnancy and instead I find myself entering week number 10 of the grieving process. A process that has been filled with so many other things, but not a lot of grieving. Somehow I feel like I am not allowed this normal human function. Most days I do okay, but late last night I broke and began crying hysterically unable to answer Jason’s question’s of concern. Then today I realized oh yeah….we should be in the weeks and days of the final countdown to bring Maggie home.
No wonder I am a mess. I spent the day trying to hold my tears back since they make other people uncomfortable, but no more. Mother’s Day is coming up as is the would be birth date for our angel taken too soon. So yes, I am sad. More often than not you might look at me with tears in my eyes. This doesn’t make me weak, it just serves as a reminder that I am in the process of surviving and God isn’t quite finished with me yet.