The day is over for the most part and I can say that I have survived. I have chosen the path of “positive thinking” which means I am not allowing myself to wallow in self pity. I figured this would be a healthy alternative. The result? I have a terrible headache from all that concentration but hey that’s gotta be better than letting all of that negative energy take control….at least that’s what I’m told. The jury is still out.
I haven’t been able to spend a Mother’s Day with my mom in years and I miss her terribly. That is largely my fault. Since I have moved to Maryland, Florida may as well be on another planet. All excuses I am certain I will regret one day, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love her with all my heart.
This passed week marked the anniversary of my grandmother’s death. Hard to believe she has been gone since May 2007. In other ways it feels like she has been gone forever. Someday’s the memories are so fresh that I can reach out and touch her and others….well you know. Today they are fresh and right there for the taking. I made ramen noodle soup for lunch today and just like grandma used to when I was a child I stirred in an egg and peas. I would give anything to be able to pick okra out of the garden and go on a long walk with her again…just to talk to her. She was always my sounding board and selfishly I miss that very much.