There has been a loss in the family

If you have been following my blog at all you will have seen me mention Kelly a couple of times. First in Bellies and Babies give away and then again in Things that Matter.  I have struggled with making this post for a while but I do so now with my dear friend Kelly’s blessing and a very heavy heart.  Two days after I posted Things that Matter I got a phone call from Kelly that nearly brought me to my knees. I answered my phone happy so sure that the news was going to be that baby boy Avery had finally made his long waited arrival. Everyone had been flooding Kelly’s facebook page for weeks. I myself was checking several times a day and Kelly was kind enough to keep my updated along the way. I felt I was in this with her even if from afar.

The night before Kelly called me I was literally having “heart pangs” my heart-felt sick and I attributed it to my Maggie being born sleeping but this grief felt different. I couldn’t explain it I felt literally heartbroken. This kept me awake and as I struggled trying to understand I created the post Create in me a clean heart because I was trying to give some of that pain to God.
The next day I realized why I had felt that way when I heard Kelly cry and tell me she now knows exactly how I feel. I cried in the middle of the Walmart parking lot. How is it possible that sweet Angel Avery was born sleeping. Stillborn.  Such an awful phrase. After I hung up with her I knew why I had been feeling such a different heartache. Avery was being taken away and even tho I didn’t know it yet Kelly and I have bridged this connection that I could feel her heartache. Kelly has told me that she think we are kindred spirits and I am positive she is right.

I love you Kelly. I’m sorry I can’t fix it but I’m still here whenever you need me. I am deeply sorry for your families loss and I pray for strength and healing for you all.

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