Father’s Day and Grandpa

I thought about just skipping this post but decided I would share my thoughts anyhow. My father was a disappointment to say the least. I won’t go into details but in short he was an alcoholic jerk whom mom and I were much better off without.
The real constant man in my life was my grandfather. It was him who helped mom kiss my boo boos, checked the closet for monsters, help me with my homework and took me on rides around the yard picking up pine cones. Now don’t get me wrong, my grandfather was a grumpy old man but I always felt safe with him and I always knew how much he loved me. The 5 year anniversary of his death is coming up on June 25th but I always carry him with me. June has become sort of a terrible month for my family. What brought us such happiness in my grandparents lives has left such an empty void in their deaths.

So tonight I say that I am thankful for all the years I had my grandfather and if I were still in Ocala I would have placed a father’s day card on his grave  just as I did when I still lived within 20 mins of the grave site. Below is a copy of  the words I spoke at grandpa’s funeral.

Death is Nothing At All

Henry Scott Holland

slightly modified by Samantha Devries

Death is nothing at all

I have just slipped away into the next room.

I am I, and you are you.

Whatever we were to each other

That we are still.

 

I can just picture grandpa saying this to us all.

He’s always said when it’s your time it’s your time

And that’s just all there is to it.

 

Call me by my old familiar name;

Speak to me in the way you always have.

Put no difference in your tone;

Wear no forced air of sadness or sorrow.

Grandpa will be celebrated in his death

much as he loved to do in his life.

Grandpa always loved a good excuse for a celebration.

Especially when family was involved.

 

Laugh as we always laughed

At the little jokes we shared together.

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.

When I was a little girl, still in diapers, grandpa and grandma had this horrible rooster.

The meanest rooster there ever was!

He would chase me all over the yard.

I can still see grandpa the first time this happened

laughing so hard he couldn’t stand it.

There is video to prove it!

But I also remember him beating the rooster with a broom to protect me.

I will never be able to look at a rooster without thinking of that.

 

Let my name be forever the household word it always was.

Let it be spoken without an effort,

Without the ghost of a shadow on it.

 

Grandpa was the true head of our family. There is a little bit of him in all of us.

I have always been especially proud to be Samantha Marie,

Samantha for my grandfather Samuel and

Marie for my grandmother Margaret Marie

 I will always carry this name on proudly.

With confidence.

In the days, months, and years to come say grandpa’s name proudly and without sorrow.

Don’t hide behind pronouns like he and him or phrases like you know who.

Samuel Edgar Hollingsworth; husband, father, grandfather, great-grandfather, and friend.

Say it loudly and with confidence.

 

Life means all that it ever meant,

It is the same as it ever was.

There is absolutely unbroken continuity.

Why should I be out of mind,

Because I am out of sight ?

Don’t hide reminders of him away. In fact, set more out.

Honor him by living each day to the fullest.

Let him live on through all of us.

 

Grandpa is waiting for us, for an interval,

Somewhere very near, just around the corner.

Know that he is in peace.

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