Another First That Was Not

Happy Halloween. Another holiday and I can’t help but think this would have been Maggie’s first. What would we have dressed her as? Had she been full term she would be just about 4 and a half months old for her first Halloween so I probably would have done something cute like a bubble bee or a pumpkin. I know pumpkins are so overdone but I just picture her as the cutest little butterball perfect for a pumpkin. I know she would have been some kinda of fairy tale princess for her second Halloween because picturing it brings a smile to my face.

Regardless of what other people say I am her mommy and I can picture her giggling in her little pumpkin suite while I take pictures of her and show off the dimples that she would surely have developed by now since both her daddy and I have them. Maybe she could be like some babies I know and sleep through it all without a care in the world.  I have another friend with a sleeping baby boy who had a pea in the pod costume picked bought and saved. What is she supposed to do with this? It haunts her and the very thought haunts me. There are just so many “firsts” that can never be and so many parents who will never understand.

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