It’s Coming On Christmas…

It’s coming on Christmas, their cutting down trees.  Their putting up reindeer and singing songs of peace. Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on.

I have always loved this Joni Mitchell song even though it is a little bit melancholy. This year it seems more fitting that ever. Don’t get me wrong, my friends and family have been so very supportive this holiday season and should I actually choose to take them up on it I have many people who have offered a helping hand whether it be a place to get away, and ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on. Someday’s I can’t understand myself. Why don’t I take these offers more often? Why do I feel the need to suck it up quietly until I feel like I am going to explode? This is a bad habit I have practiced all my life and even as I do it I know I only hurt myself more. Then I think about the women I have met on this journey of grief and my heart breaks for them too. There are so many sad stories…so much more traumatic than my own, but I have to remind myself that just because their hell is worse doesn’t mean that my feelings are insignificant.

I haven’t listened to much Christmas music, but this song speaks to me from its melody down to its last lyric, but somethings we just can’t bury. Somethings must be faced…ready or not.

It’s coming on Christmas
They’re cutting down trees
They’re putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on

But it don’t snow here
It stays pretty green
I’m going to make a lot of money
Then I’m going to quit this crazy scene
Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on

I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
I wish I had a river I could skate away on
I made my baby cry

He tried hard to help me
You know, he put me at ease
And he loved me so naughty
Made me weak in the knees
Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on

I’m so hard to handle
I’m selfish and I’m sad
Now I’ve gone and lost the best baby
That I ever had
I wish I had a river I could skate away on

Oh, I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I made my baby say goodbye

It’s coming on Christmas
They’re cutting down trees
They’re putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
I wish I had a river I could skate away on

© 1970; Joni Mitchell

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