As I sit here tonight fighting off yet another round of tears I feel like such a failure in every aspect of my life. Instead of spending Maggie’s “angelversary” at a girls lunch I spent it sick in bed with stomach bug. I slept most of the day even though Jason’s kids were running around me and when I was not asleep all I could do was cry. I expected so much more from myself on this second angelversary. That was Sunday, today is Tuesday and I cannot say that I remember much of Monday. I have been in a daze and I hate it. I had assignments due on Monday which I just finally finished and got submitted a full day late. I do believe I might have just submitted the worst work of my academic career. The one thing that I always do right I just failed at.
I cannot stop crying and I find myself grateful that it is officially late enough that it is socially acceptable to take my ambien and be done with the day. Done, I am just so done.